


Sparkly Telepath Battle Royale

by love_in_the_stars



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer, X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Charles shows up, Crack, Don't fit the bill, Emma battles Edward for the honor of Erik's 'Sparkly Telepath', Erik just wants to find some decent mutants, First Class Kink Meme prompt, Gen, M/M, The Cullens - Freeform, at all, so much crack, ~Awkward~
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-03
Updated: 2013-02-03
Packaged: 2017-11-28 01:02:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/668474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/love_in_the_stars/pseuds/love_in_the_stars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erik heads to Washington on word of some possible mutants to recruit. Instead he finds the Cullen family of vampires. He's not impressed, Emma fights with Edward and Charles makes an appearance (which makes Erik happy, not that he'll admit it).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sparkly Telepath Battle Royale

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a prompt that the First Class Kink Meme. And, that's really the only excuse I have for this. First time writing for this fandom and it's crack, naturally. 
> 
> Takes place in an AU where Charles was never paralyzed and the beach divorce still happened, if not a bit less serious. Okay, a lot less serious.

Erik had received word of a strange family living in Washington, who the locals both adored and feared for reasons his source wouldn't get into.  
  
Well, now he understood why.  
  
Determinately ignoring the way Emma and the broody boy, what was his name, Edwin, no, Edward were glaring at each other(for reasons Erik did not know or care about, though he caught the muttered growl of something about being the only 'sparkly telepath' from Emma that, frankly, Erik wanted to forget he ever heard) Erik accepted a mug of tea from the overly friendly blond with the far too revealing cleavage. Damn, he couldn't remember her name either. Not that it really mattered. This entire trip was pointless and a serious waste of his time.  
  
Vampires. Not mutants at all, like he'd hoped. Instead, he found a clan(or was it coven they called themselves, whichever) of vampires. And not regular vampires like in the stories either. Those would at least be useful in sheer battle potential. No, instead he found the only damn vampires around that were utterly harmless and intentionally so. It was like Charles all over again.  
  
Erik winced at that thought but sipped from his tea and nodded amiably at whatever it was their self-appointed leader was rambling about. He'd gathered that the guy was a doctor or in-training or whatever, which, seriously, so very Charles. Why did this keep happening to him? Was it seriously so much to ask for to find a few more mutants like Azazel or Riptide?  
  
Speaking of, Erik realized he had no idea where either of them were and a quick look around revealed that the betrayers had vanished, leaving him behind. Of course. Fuckers. Okay, so maybe not like those two at all. This whole Brotherhood thing was so not working out for him. At all.  
  
Since Mystique had never bothered to come in the first place(something about a prior commitment, as if he didn't already know she was going out and pranking humans with her shapeshifting. Not that he had a problem with that, of course.) that left Erik with just- a sudden flash of light prompted him to look over toward Emma and the boy. She was in her diamond form and he was...standing in a patch of sunlight and glittering.  
  
God damn it all.  
  
Fucking sparkling vampires.  
  
 _I give up_ , Erik thought. _I am so totally over this_. And then he thought, _I miss Charles_.  
  
"Erik?"  
  
For a moment Erik was certain he'd just imagined that familiar voice but their host, the maybe doctor, turned and made a surprised sound.  
  
"Oh! You must be the professor! I forgot that Esme said you'd be here today."  
  
With no small amount of dread, Erik also turned and sure enough, Charles Xavier was walking up the path toward them, flanked by Alex and Sean. The only redeeming factor in this mess was that Charles looked just as shocked to see them as he was.  
  
"Is that dude sparkling?" Sean, tactful as ever, asked with no effort toward lowering his voice.  
  
"Not as brightly as me." Emma snapped back, speaking for the first time since the boy, Edward, had stared at Erik in that weirdly intense sort of way that uncomfortably reminded him of how Charles looked last time he was around and Erik was wearing the helmet. Oh, wait, right. Oops.  
  
Charles was still looking at Erik and he nodded a little awkwardly toward the telepath. "Charles."  
  
At the sound of his name, Charles cracked a small smile. "I assume what brought you to the Cullen family is the same as what drew us."  
  
"I was hoping so." Erik said dryly. "However, I was mistaken." Badly, he wanted to add. So very badly mistaken.  
  
"How so?"  
  
"We're vegetarian vampires, not mutants." The coven(seriously, was it clan after all?) leader said proudly. In that moment there a tremendous crash from around the other side of the house and everyone, excepting Emma and Edward, jumped. The blond doctor/vampire sighed and gave them both a rueful grin, "that was probably Emmett, one moment please, I'll be right back." And then disappeared behind the house, leaving Erik and Charles to stare at each other. Alex and Sean stared at them staring at each other before Alex rolled his eyes and dragged Sean back down the path where they came.  
  
Erik wasn't sure if it was gratifying or insulting that they just assumed it was safe to leave Charles near the Brotherhood unprotected. Then again, with Emma so...preoccupied and given Erik's weakness where the professor came, they were right.  
  
After another minute of staring, Charles finally coughed and looked away. "Are Emma and that boy having a mental duel?"  
  
Not bothering to look toward them again(seriously, Emma? You're worried about a child when Charles is standing right here? CHARLES, who is an even stronger telepath? Priorities, woman, you need to check them.) Erik shrugged. "To be honest, I'm not sure. They've been doing that this whole time. I'm not even sure why."  
  
Charles lifted a hand to his temple and blinked, brows pulling together. "Ah. Well. It would seem they're fighting over the right to be your only 'sparkly telepath'."  
  
Erik sighed. "Of course they are. Good, reasonable mutants are so hard to find."  
  
Charles tsked and nodded. "I've been noticing that too. I must say, from what I'm reading, these Cullen's aren't even passing proper for vampires, let alone mutants."  
  
"I know! This trip was such a waste of my time."  
  
"Well." Charles paused and looked directly at Erik, "At least it brought us here."  
  
That was true and it was wonderful to see Charles again but, really, that wasn't exactly something Erik could get away with saying and still keep his 'Badass Brotherhood' card. Yes, he'd checked, what of it? Instead, Erik just kind of nodded and kept looking back at Charles, which led to him wincing internally because awkward silences were the best...not. But he'd never been much for conversation unless Charles started it.  
  
"So." Charles said, a little too brightly.  
  
"So." He echoed back, uncertainly. God, this was horrible. He felt like he was talking to an ex...which, uh, okay bad example.  
  
"Alright, I've had quite enough. You want to get out of here? Go for a drink or something? With me?"  
  
"God, yes!" Erik said quickly, almost before the words were fully out of Charles' mouth. And the beaming smile that answer got him made this whole utterly pointless trip a whole lot less painful. Actually, if this went the way he hoped it would, he might have to send the Cullen family a 'Thank You For Being So Lame That Charles Decided Spending Quality Alone Time With Me Was A Better Option Then Discussing Your Eating Habits, Or Lack Thereof' card. Or something like that.  
  
And so they left the Cullen's to go grab a pint and maybe more, which made a pretty good end to a former total loss of a day. And if Erik forgot all about Emma and her strangely determined mind-fighting against the boy over telepath rights, well, it was hardly his fault she forgot who her real competition was. After all, sparkly or not, Charles was the only telepath for Erik.


End file.
